Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
