Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
