You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize