i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
