redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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