Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
