Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i now understand why vodka
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
