the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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