he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
