So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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