So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love having hate sex.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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