billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
