I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize