Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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