we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
