ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she was so not down for the gang bang
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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