I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize