I can tuck mytits in my pants
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
