What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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