yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
