dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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