You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize