As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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