so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
