i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
