yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
