haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
