i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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