we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
