i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
