Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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