Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
