SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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