They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
