she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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