let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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