I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
whose parrot is this?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
