Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
