We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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