I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
