i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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