You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
