I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
