laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
