Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
