you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize