I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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