come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
