so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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