Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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