Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
