What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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