So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize