Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
