nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
