HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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