I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
