Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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