fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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