Jerry, you need to find god
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
