My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
