Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize