I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
