in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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