So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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