so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
