btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize