Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
